Another new "miracle fix" for FS, this time from yours untruly.
You will need the following things:
1 Sheet of Saran Wrap
1 Empty, lockable, room with a smaller door cut in the door
1 Brain
1 Washing machine & detergent
1 Doctor
1 Ortho
1 Chiropractor
1 Acupuncturist
1 Homeopath
1 Physical Therapist
Remove your brain and set it on a large piece of Saran wrap. Look at it. While your brain is waiting on the Saran wrap, set washer to Ultra extra long 6 rinse turbo cleanse cycle, add detergent and then return to your brain and take note. The juices from your brain should be bleeding out. Now, open up the door leading to the empty room and throw the Doctor, Ortho, Chiropractor, Acupuncturist, Homeopath, and the Physical Therapist inside - confiscation of personal property optional. Slam the door hard behind you and return back to your brains. Now, take your brain over to the washing machine and gently place it into the washer, or throw it in if you're having another a bad day.
By now you should be hearing frantic knocks and protestations of bewilderment coming from the not-so-empty room. Open the small window and tell them to shut the hell up already - you're bloody sick and tired of hearing their views clash; it's like hearing the sound of fingernails dragging down a chalkboard and you're tired of being inundated with so much (mis)information that you could vomit. Tell them that they are free to leave when they've all agreed on the causes and treatments of adhesive capsulitis; inform them that the money you spent while in horrid pain desperately looking for an answer to your suffering must be recovered.
Now return to your brain. Look at it. Your washer should have cycled it through nicely by now. Remove brain and insert it back in head. You now have a nice clean brain, free of everything you've learned about adhesive capsulitis - you are now ready to start all over again. If you were smart - you removed their wallets - and now you have all the money back that you spent getting nowhere. Don't feel guilty about the money because the prisoners are never going to work together to come to an agreement or concede they are full of shit, so go out and treat yourselves to something special 'cause they are never ever coming out again. You'll need it because FS sucks and it feels good to shop when you're in pain. You deserve a reprieve - so have a blast. Your FS will resolve itself within 6 to 18 months, if treated. For those of us whose FS doesn't respond to a single thing, those of us who've spent months on end in horrible pain and discomfort, take heart:
Your FS will resolve itself within 6 to 18 months, without treatment.
Stuffed - 10/18/07
Sometimes I use him as a brace for my often sore neck
and sometimes I kiss his little white mask or just drape him
over my left shoulder
